3-Steps to Overcome Resistance (The Master of Disguise)
When it comes to our creative work, often one of the biggest block’s we encounter is Resistance. If we let Resistance go unchecked, not only does it completely disempower us, sabotage our creative efforts, destroy our big creative goals, it limits our creative potential, which is why, it’s so important we know how to overcome Resistance, whenever it shows up.
So, what is exactly is Resistance?
Resistance is described as a force which operates in the opposite direction of motion and either slows that motion down or prevents it entirely. So, let’s say your creative work is writing your novel, that’s the motion, Resistance is the invisible force working against your creative motion, slowing it down or preventing it from happening at all.
Sound familiar at all?
Resistance is also an extremely tricky customer to deal with because it’s a Master of Disguise. Sometimes Resistance presents itself as an excuse, so convincing in its disguise you might not even recognise it as an excuse. Sometimes it can arrive in the form of self-doubt or a lack of confidence, or any number of other limiting beliefs that like to show up during the creative process and prevent you from taking action. Other times, Resistance can be as subtle or as nuanced, as a feeling, but a strong enough feeling to stop you in your tracks and drive you to distraction as your creative goal slips further out of sight. Like I said, Resistance is an extremely tricky customer, and because we never really understand what we’re dealing with, knowing how to overcome Resistance, can feel almost impossible.
And to make matters even worse, Resistance feeds on Resistance. It is a self-sustaining and insatiable intruder. The longer we let Resistance stay, the bigger it becomes and the more space it will inevitably take up, and that space, is in your head! The more space Resistance takes up in there, the more disempowered you will become and the further you step away from your creative aspirations.
So, how do we overcome this invisible force of destruction?
Often, you’ll hear people say, ‘you just need to be strong and learn not give into to it.’ Or, ‘get back to work and show Resistance who’s boss’. Now I’m all for that tough-love approach, if it works, but in my experience, often it doesn’t. Not because you’re not strong enough or tough enough but because your Resistance is already taking up too much headspace, it’s already overpowering you and disempowering you at the exact same time, rendering you stuck somewhere in the middle – the motionless middle.
Trying to overcome Resistance by determination and will-power alone isn’t always the answer, at least not long term anyway. I propose a different approach, one that doesn’t simply reject Resistance by pretending it doesn’t exist but instead, disarms Resistance by actually befriending it. That’s right, befriending it! Rather, than trying to ignore it’s incessant knocking, welcome your Resistance in for a cup of tea and take some time to understand why Resistance is knocking at your door in the first place and what really lies at the heart of it suddenly showing up. Until you are able to understand where your Resistance is coming from, you won’t ever be able to convince it to leave.
A Creative Exercise
Firstly, take a quick inventory of the situation, by asking yourself the following questions.
Before you start though, I invite you not to censor yourself, instead be really honest with yourself and then accept whatever comes up without judgement and with curiosity.
1. What am I resisting?
2. How is this resistance making me feel?
3. What’s at stake if I never overcome my resistance?
As a general rule, the more that’s at stake, the more pressure you’ll put on yourself and the greater your Resistance will be. However, by identifying what’s at risk allows you to acknowledge how much you want something and can be helpful motivation for you.
Now you know what is happening next, it’s about understanding why it’s happening.
Here is a really simple, four-step process to get to the Roots of your Resistance, see your Resistance for what it really is, and then find effective ways to work around your Resistance, so that you move forward rather than stay stuck.
Step 1
Create a mind-map, with your Resistance in a bubble in the centre of the page. From there, branching from your bubble of Resistance, begin to brainstorm all the reasons for your resistance – these are the Roots of your Resistance, and the more of them you have the stronger and deeper your Resistance will be, which is why we want to unearth all of them. The secret here is to be honest with yourself, give yourself permission to tell the truth, even if you don’t like what you discover.
Step 2
Next, you want to expose the mystic around your Resistance and start seeing it for what it really is. For each of the roots that you’ve identified, ask yourself; Is this True or is this an Excuse?
Depending on your answers, when it comes to Step 3 you might want to think about treating them slightly differently; Truth might respond better to kindness, creativity and compassion, an Excuse might need some tough love.
Step 3
Now, for each root that you’ve identified, find three, manageable actions you take or changes you make to overcome that particular Root of Resistance. Make them easy and simple.
Step 4
All exercises are to get you into the right headspace to create are therefore not done in isolation of your creative goal but in collaboration with it. So, this step is about integrating the actions and changes you’ve come up with, into your creative process, so that as soon as you’ve overcome your Resistance, you can take action on your creative goal, which is the whole point!
I’ve created a worksheet to help you complete this exercise which you can download HERE for FREE.